“2018. New year, new resolutions, new me.”
We often tell ourselves to trust our feelings, feelings of love, and go with them. As Amelia Brand, portrayed by Anna Hathaway in the movie “Interstellar”, famously said in the movie:
“Maybe it (love) means something more – something we can’t yet understand. Maybe it’s some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive…… Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t understand it.”
Even I can’t help but agree. The ability to explain something comes from the understanding of something. How do we explain the connection with someone then? Sometimes we just go along with our gut feeling, because maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t understand it.
And that is probably why most of us chose to go with our gut feelings about someone we like, and choose to work things out slowly. This gut feeling doesn’t come often, does it? So, after dating someone you liked for a period of time, if you gradually discover that this person’s lifestyle and perspectives differ from yours, what will you choose to do?
Female > 30
Female < 30
Male > 30
Male < 30
Of course, my inferences and deductions (I sound so scientific) are purely based on the survey results that we’ve got, and these are not representative of the whole Chinese population or Asian community. But I would say that in general, people go with their gut feeling for something immeasurable or quantifiable, like love. How do we know if a person is right for you? You got to take the leap of faith, most of the time. You trust your instincts. Even if the person might not turn out to be who you thought he was, we can definitely sort the differences out in the future. Nobody is perfect anyway. You can’t possibly be together with a person who is your ideal type. Accept for who they are, and work together to accept each others’ differences. Patience, patience, patience.
That being said, the majority of girls below 30 would prefer not to dive in deeper. They might not want to deal with the uncertainties that come with a ‘gut feeling’ sort of thing. Taking the ‘safe’ way out is probably better. You never know!
Moving on, we need to understand the different approaches that men and women undertake in a relationship. That is key to a successful relationship. Gain a better understanding of how men and women deal with their needs and wants, and it will lead to a better, stronger relationship between you and your partner. If you are interested, there is a really well-written article here by Narcity Toronto: https://www.narcity.com/ca/on/toronto/dating/the-real-difference-between-men-and-women-when-it-comes-to-relationships.
Cheers guys, see you in the next post.
“Love is not something we invented. It’s observable, powerful, and it has to mean something.”